Don't Look Back
by lynette.clay
Summary: AU/AH - Bonnie and Caroline are adjusting to life in NY as roommates. All seems at ease until Bonnie ventures into the city alone for the first time where she, through a series of unfortunate events, continuously bumps into a blue eyed stranger. Things get "weird" when that stranger seems to appear nearly everywhere, causing Bonnie fear and an awkward attraction at the same time.
1. Preface

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Vampire Diaries-ish! I just have an insane obsession with BAMON!

Where you are at every second of each day, is where you were meant to be. The people you interact with, whether they stick around or disappear, they were meant to be there. Everything in existence has its purpose… its meaning. That's my answer for everything. It's the most logical, I think. And for the most part, I know that I'm right. I don't believe in coincidences.

Walking through the crowded streets of New York City, I ponder on those theories that I live by. These people around me, moving hastily to their unknown destinations, they're supposed to be here. As a matter of fact, someone is supposed to drop something, causing a millisecond of a delay in their trip. And the guy whose shoe I just stumbled over, _who is now frowning back at me and cursing loudly_ , that was a stall that was meant to happen. It's not time for him to be at his destination yet. And I'm not supposed to be at mine, just yet.

Instead of hanging around to offer an apology that he will more than likely not accept, I keep walking, pushing through all of those people who all oddly seem to be coming at me instead of walking in the same direction as me. Another thought comes to mind but, I quickly push it away. I need to stay focused on my surroundings and my destination. I need to get home.

I make it to ground level and wait among others for the next train. This would be my second time riding the subway. My second of many more rides to come, and it wasn't looking any better than it had this morning. Everybody looked the same. Strangers. Crazy and dangerous people of New York. They could be criminals disguised as anyone. They all looked exactly like my uncle Alaric had described them. As a respected detective for the NYPD, it was of his demand that I not trust anyone. Not even that friendly hot dog man on the corner of 7th and 9th.

Stepping closer to the waiting block, I observed exit opportunities in the rare event that I had to make a run for it. Just in case there was some random shooting spree. But before that could happen, the train finally arrived and I felt relief. I moved with the waiting crowd to one side so that others could unload. And then it was our turn to get on. I felt chills. A simple brush of someone's coat sent me into overdrive. This was something that I knew I would have to get used to. Being in close proximity of strangers, and them touching me without thought. It was all too much to take in for this small town girl.

There was nowhere to sit and no pole to occupy, as ironic as that sounded. Panic was setting in and I could feel my heart pick up pace. I didn't want to risk falling when the train took off. That would be embarrassing and I'd probably hurt _another_ innocent bystander. This thought gave me a brief moment of pain as it had indeed happened this morning. I turned and looked, turned … looked. Nothing but space, people and my impending disaster.

As the doors closed, the lights flickered and I closed my eyes. We started moving, and I could feel myself falling back. It was happening, I was about to bite the dust once again. How classy!

But I never reached the ground. Instead, I felt a soft grip on my left elbow and I was steady, balanced. It was a safe feeling, and I could hear nothing but the sound of my breath. I prized this moment. But eventually, reality hit me, and that feeling of safety turned into alertness. I felt fire in my chest, and my heart began to race even more. Because one thing had not been clear, _"Who in the hell was holding my arm?"_

 **Author's Note: If you're reading this, then it means that you've successfully finished the beginning of a masterpiece. I've been working on this story for years to come. I love Kat Graham as an actress and as a person – she is beautiful. So I had this story come into my thoughts, she was the person I saw for the main character. I originally had different names for everyone but all of my characters mashed so well with the cast of Vampire Diaries, I figured why not. And as I started to write, things got easier and smoother. As a head's up, here are a few things to look forward to… changes and explanations that will help my Vampire Diaries fans follow the reading:**

 **Bonnie is the main character. Caroline is her roommate. Damon is the stranger. Alaric will make several appearances as Bonnie's uncle (he's married to Bonnie's "aunt"Abbie – as you know Abbie is Bonnie's mom on the show) – stay with me. Elena will not be in this series… sorry, not sorry. Stefan will appear but not as Damon's brother. And last but not least, Marcell – who, is from the Original's series. He will play Bonnie's coworker and love interest. There will be several other appearances but for the most part, I wanted you to be able to follow the story and understand that this not Vampire Diaries – I'm only borrowing the characters and their personalities. Next chapter coming real soon!**


	2. Excuse Me

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Vampire Diaries-ish! Just an insane obsession with BAMON! Also, heads up… I decided to keep Damon and Stefan as brothers. It just makes more sense! Now – carry on my loverly people!

The silent stranger maintained a tight hold on my elbow. It didn't hurt in any way. As a matter of fact, it felt nice. But I was still afraid of the unknown. Warily I looked around, trying to see if anyone else noticed the position I was in. However as expected, no one was paying any attention. So I just stood there, motionless, with this hand on my elbow… keeping me steady, balanced and safe.

It was an awkward moment, since I never turned around to acknowledge my savior. Or that they never said a word to me. Two strangers awkwardly joined at one's elbow – the perfect photo in just the right lighting.

I realized that the whole thing was rather foolish. So I did the only thing that made sense, I turned around, and a finger lightly touched the tip of my chin – tilting my head up. And then further my eyes traveled, up… and up. His mouth was pouted out just slightly, and turned up into a cocky smile. Naturally, I smiled, and it felt good. So I allowed my gaze to continue north into a mesmerizing pair of steel blue eyes, which were also smiling down at me.

"You're falling already… damn I'm good," he said. He was confident, charming and _gorgeous_.

"Thanks," I mumbled, sounding like a sick cow. This short time I had in spent in New York had taken away the sweetness of my voice. I almost always spoke heavy and dry these days. I didn't like the city very much.

But this tall anddark haired stranger, he had me weak at the knees when my knees should have been knocking in the other direction. Yet I allowed him to invade my personal space. I wasn't thinking, at all. I was just staring, lost in his eyes. They were clear blue pools of…

" _Miss_?" he asked, startling me into reality. The beautiful stranger was still holding me, close. His eyes were now urgent and worried. And I couldn't understand why.

Suddenly, I realized that I'd stopped listening to the background noise. I had shut down my peripheral. And in that moment and in his arms, everything that I'd blanked out came crashing back at full force. The motion of the train, walls of graffiti whipping by and the loud clattering against each and every bump as we sped through the tunnels, _it all hit me at once_.

I looked up at him, panicked… and I slowly backed away. "I'm so sorry!" It was the only thing I was able to spit out, still pacing backwards until I couldn't move any further.

"It's okay, really!" He shrugged, as he made his way over to me, hands outstretched. I was finally able to take in all of him at this moment.

This handsome stranger was tall and slender, very pale with rosy cheeks and a pink smirk. His hair was spikey yet neat and shiny. He seemed almost perfect, but dangerous at the same time. And while every piece of me wanted to stay latched onto him, my mind was screaming at me to run like hell.

So as he continued to move towards me, and I continued to push myself closer up against the wall, that wall suddenly shifted… and again I was on my way. Only this time, there was no mystery cushion – just rock hard concrete. My whole world faded to black.

 **Author's Note: Are you still with me? I hope so… I hope that this story is holding you. As I continue, my goal is to really capture the characters. I want you to feel them – feel their emotion. Their angst! Please review! Let me know what you think! This is far from the Vampire Diaries but it's the characters – it's the people that I fell in love with! This is them, in a new world!**

 **Side Note: Bonnie will come off as a little paranoid for most of this story. And she's also going to get lost in thought, a lot! So be prepared. As for Damon – he's all the same, minus the whole vampire thing. Next Chapter up soon – once I get a few chapters posted and I see how people like it, I'll back down to posting one or two chapters a week. We'll see!**


	3. Awkward Bonnie

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Vampire Diaries-ish! … Cheers!**

 _Nostalgia – a mixed feeling of happiness, sadness and longing when recalling a person, place or event from the past, or the past in general…_

 _I had never seen my Grams so at peace. But there she stood, across the subway platform, still... stiff._

 _A soft smile formed at her lips as she stared at me. All I wanted at that very moment was to jump across the tracks and run into her arms. Only, my paranoia stalled me. I'd seen too many fatal incidents on Youtube involving the subway tracks to even try it._

 _After a moment, Grams turned her attention to something behind me. She started to frown. I turned around, in search of what could have caused her so much anger, but there was nothing, no one. As a matter of fact, the entire station on my side of the platform was empty. Yet behind her, the citizens of New York staggered around aimlessly._

" _Bonnie," she called out to me. I turned back to face her. I was confused now, because she look worried about something._

" _Don't look back!"_

" _Don't look back?" I mouthed to myself._

 _That was strange. It didn't make any sense. And I didn't know what to say. I just stood there, dumbstruck. I picture her here with me, after all these years, and that's all she has to say._

 _After seconds gone by, I finally found what I wanted to say, but it was too late. A train came flashing by so fast that its wind speed pushed me back. I could feel that fall, once again. But this time, the darkness faded to light…_

My upper body tenses in frustration as I take in the moment. I'm lying on my back, obviously. And the steel eyed stranger is staring down at me once again, pain and agony in his eyes. And he's so beautiful.

When he's able to see that I might be okay, his face relaxes.

"Women falling head over heels for me, it happens all the time. But never have I had one fall so crazy _twice_ in one day."

"Who are you?" I asked him, my voice low and breathy.

"I'm Damon, and you're _Bonnie_." At the mention of my name, his eyes grow wide and animated.

A smile forms on my mouth, drunkenly. And then my eyes widen in fear and shock. "How do you know my name?"

I tried with all I had to push myself up and free myself from his hold. But I couldn't move. He'd somehow carried me from the ground to a bench on the sidewalk. _We were out of the subway?_

" _Calm down_ ," he moaned slowly. He was gazing deeply into my eyes now, as if he were trying to hypnotize me or something. "You had a pretty bad fall. It knocked you _out_."

"How long was I _out_ for?"

He looked down at his watch and then back to me, "About twenty minutes."

I did the math in my head. That wasn't too bad. But panic eased its way in as I remembered that I should've been home at least ten minutes ago. This was exactly what I needed – let's freak out Caroline, who was already worried about me being on my own for the first time in New York.

I tried moving around again and he helped me to lean up into a sitting position. "Where's my bag? I need my phone… I need to call,"

"Caroline?" he interrupted. I looked up at him, my brows frowning. He knew way more than anyone should have known at this moment in time and now all I wanted to do was find my pepper spray.

"Here," he said, handing me my bag in one hand and then my phone. "When you, _fell,_ I rushed to move you out of the way of all the subway traffic. There was nowhere safe to put you so that I could _tend_ to you, so I carried you up here and laid you on this bench. _That's_ when you're phone started to ring. I wasn't going to answer it but I took a glance at the caller id anyway. It said roomie, so I took the call."

"…And?" I pushed, this couldn't be the end of his explanation.

" _And_ … she immediately started screaming and panicking, s _omething about you never trusting her again._ But after I calmed her down and explained what happened, she started panicking _all over again._ I'm sure she'll be here any second now."

His expression has now turned to frustration as he looks around, expecting Caroline to show up soon I guess.

"Bonnie!" I heard Caroline scream from behind me. Damon and I both turned to the direction of her voice. Her blonde curls bounced in the wind as she ran over to me. "Oh my goodness Bonnie I'm so sorry! I lied! The subway is scary, very scary! And I should have never made you do this all alone on your first day! I'm so sorry!" Tears were forming in her eyes but they never fell. She couldn't be serious.

Her cheeks were turning red – the cold brisk air had gotten the best of her as she'd run to my "rescue".

I raised my hand to her cheek, and patted it softly, "I'm fine, let's go home."

"Ok," she said while helping me up from the bench.

Damon took my other arm as I stood. We locked eyes for a brief moment, and in that moment I saw fear in his eyes, like he was afraid to let me go – like I'd break. I wouldn't have expected to see him again, but something in his eyes told me that this wouldn't be the last time.

Caroline tugged at my other arm, pulling me towards the direction of our apartment. I half smiled and Damon, "Thank you… again."

He forced a smiled, and silently watched us walk away.

I never looked back. But for the entire walk home, I couldn't shake the feeling that he still had his eyes on me.

 **Author's Note: Thank you for reading. Thank you and I hope you're enjoying it. I don't have much else to say here so – until next time!**


	4. Late Night Delights

**Disclaimer: This Vampire Diaries-ish is not mine – but I love it and treat it as such!**

At 11:23 PM, I was awakened by an extremely loud clap of thunder, followed by a blinding flash of lightening through my bedroom window. I jolted up and looked around my room, attempting to gather my sanity. But I was only met with confusion, and then realization that my thirty minute nap should have been over three hours ago.

From the moment we had walked through the door, Caroline gave me a comprehensive tour of the new arrangements she had made to our humble abode. From the new oversized white couch in the middle of the living room to the fancy large chiffon patterned curtains that adorned our front window; it was safe to say that she had indeed outdone herself. She was trying everything possible to put me at ease – she knew that I wasn't a fan of big changes like moving to the city. But I needed this… _we_ needed this. And so far the benefits were outweighing the negative.

My plan for the day was to complete the required HR paperwork that I would need for my next day at work. Apparently that was unsuccessful. At the foot of my bed lay all of the documents that I had halfway filled out, scattered in every direction.

Wide awake and craving a snack, I decided to seek out Caroline. If anything I could always count on her for a late night batch of chocolate chip cookies. After all, it was during these hours that she was usually up, sprawled across the living room floor surrounded by floor plans and fabric samples.

I was extremely proud of her and her decision to take on interior decorating. It fit her personality perfectly, and she was damn good at it.

When I opened my bedroom door, darkness greeted me. This didn't feel _natural_.

" _Caroline_ ," I called out, my voice was no higher than a whisper. " _Caroline_ ," I called again. Still, no answer.

I eased out of my room and winced as my bare feet made contact with the cold hardwood floor. Slowly walking around the spiral staircase that led up to Caroline's room, I peered into the living room, it was pitch black. No sign of life. She must've turned in early for a change. I guess my close encounter with death today had really taken a toll on her.

A tall glass of wine sounded like the best alternative moment to calm my nerves, since cookies were out of the question. I opted not to turn on any lights as I made my way to the kitchen. I knew that it was very possible for an outside onlooker to see right into your home in the dark of night when lights were on. I hadn't had the chance to test the blinds and their coverage, so I wasn't taking any chances.

It didn't take me long to pick out a bottle of red wine from the fancy wine rack that Caroline had snagged from an antique shop back home. I moved over to the small amount of lighting that illuminated from the kitchen window and carefully read the label: Cabernet Sauvignon – ooh la la… Now all I needed was the bottle opener.

I spotted it on the center island counter. As I reached for it, from my peripheral I spotted a shadow. Glancing up, I saw it… a figure, standing just outside of our patio door –an erringly dominating silhouette illuminated by the sudden flashes of lightening as the rain pulsates to the earth.

At this moment I ventured back in time to when we were picking out this place. The first brownstone on the corner, equipped with an outdoor balcony which led onto the street. I knew it was a bad idea, I had told Caroline – it was easy access for predators.

I grabbed the neck of the wine bottle, it would be my weapon of choice tonight. Hunched over, I skulked out of the kitchen while calling out once again in a whisper, "Caroline!" This time my cry was more frantic.

Where the hell was she!?

Another flash of lightening even brighter than the last was followed by a rumbling roll of thunder. I glanced back into the kitchen at the patio door. The figure was still there, more pronounced, and I screamed, "Caroline!"

More earth shattering thunder.

Instantaneously, the figure outside started to bang on the patio door.

I did the only thing I could think of, attempting to be brave. Wine bottle in hand, I rushed to the patio door, unlocked it and pushed it open. Another lightning strike and the figure screamed initiating an even louder scream from me as I raised the wine bottle up ready to strike.

"Bonnie!?"

"Caroline?!"

"Bonnie what are you doing?"

"I have no earthly idea!"

She reached inside and switched on the kitchen light. There stood my darling Caroline, drenching wet from head to toe, "Have you gone mad?"

"I think so," I admitted. We both looked up at my arm that was still holding the wine bottle.

"You read my mind. Such an awesome friend," she said sarcastically.

Caroline pushed her way pass me and into the kitchen. She shrugged out of her raincoat and threw it into the hallway. Her hair was soaked, and it didn't look like the rest of her had been so lucky either.

"Where were you?" I asked her.

"A client wanted to see some plans that I'd drawn up. It was an urgent request that promised a bonus that I couldn't turn down.

 _What are you up to_?"

"It's five o' clock somewhere right," I shrugged.

She shook her head at me and grabbed two tall wine glasses, "Bonnie Bennett, I don't know what's gotten into you but this paranoid version of yourself is really starting to weird me out."

I didn't retort to her remarks. Instead I held up my glass, and initiated a silent toast. I wasn't sure what had come over me either, but I knew without a doubt, that this was only the beginning.

 **Author's Note: TVD Fans – Alaric is Bonnie's step dad, Abbie is still her mom. Just an FYI as the story shifts into more characters and new and interesting happenings. Thank you for reading… next chapter following closely behind!**


	5. Eyes of Betrayal

**Disclaimer: "I really wish that the Vampire Diaries was all mine mine mine"… but I have to borrow things!**

The next morning, I had made the ultimate decision to "take my time", while headed to work. The city wasn't going to get any smaller and neither was my fear – I needed to embrace my new life.

So I got up earlier than usual and jumped straight into the shower, a routine I had intended to continue. It felt nice, and I enjoyed these moments because I got to spend time in one of the coolest places in our apartment. Caroline had lucked up with her loft style bedroom, but my bathroom… it was unique. It had this sort of retro ambiance blanketing the room.

After finding a suitable outfit to wear to work, and by suitable I mean "adult", I moved on to my next step towards a positive change – breakfast. But to my surprise, Caroline had beaten me to it. She was sitting at the kitchen table with bagels and a generous pitcher of orange juice.

She smiled up at me with expressive blue eyes as she blew over her mug of coffee, "Good morning sunshine. Sit, and gather your thoughts before starting your day."

I took a seat across from her as she placed a large blueberry bagel on an empty plate in front of me. It looked positively delicious.

Everything within me wanted to protest. After all, the fact that she felt I was unable to cope in my own way was rather offensive. But I shoved away the thought. She was my best friend. She knew me. She understood me… and she loved me. So I didn't argue and instead, slathered my bagel in blueberry cream cheese frosting.

"Your step-dad stopped by this morning?"

"Alaric," I asked mid bite.

"Yeah," she got up from her seat and disappeared for about thirty seconds, returning with a teal box and fancy white ribbon – _Tiffany's_?

It wasn't a very big box, and not small like a ring box. I couldn't describe it if I tried. The gift tag had a note on it in Alaric's thin and scrambled handwriting. It read:

It's not what you think… I promise.

-A

That could mean a lot of things. But I was sure that it was something typical of him.

I slid off the lid, and there lay a fancy and compact teal tube with a keychain attached to it. I held the gadget up and observed it carefully until realization set in, "Pepper spray- typical Alaric."

"Awesome, right?," Caroline laughed. But the expression on her face was as if she had already seen it.

"You knew about this?" I asked her.

"No… but he gave me one too," she smirked, and bounced up from her seat grabbing both of our empty plates. "Run along, my dear. The work day awaits you!"

I sat at the table for a few more moments, thinking… very intensely. I was already paranoid. This _thing_ would be a constant reminder of my paranoia. So for today, I decided to leave it home. We would try again tomorrow.

On my way to work, I took my time as planned. I imagined this _time_ could be used to really take in the people, and my immediate surroundings. Unfortunately, it was extremely cold out. Eventually, I picked up pace and fell back into step with the rest of the world.

The subway ride wasn't bad. I was able to find a seat this time; reminding myself not to get used to it, as tomorrow could always turn out to be just like the day before.

That's when a memory of Damon popped into my head. His eyes, the way they glazed over as I had walked away from him that day. He was in his place, the place that he was supposed to be at that moment in time. I wondered what had happened, to get him on the subway at that moment. Where was he going? Or was it just my side of unfortunate mishaps that led us to my impending disaster?

As soon as I reached the tall glass doors of my new place of business, my phone buzzed to life. I'd made special note to turn it on vibrate before I started working. And it seems as if she had been watching… waiting, for just the right moment chime in - my darling Caroline.

"State your business," I answered.

"Bonnie, the pepper spray is totally ineffective if you leave it in the key basket. There's a keychain attachment which means you should _attach_ it to your _keys_."

"I'll bring it with me tomorrow. I just… forgot it."

"Sure you did. How has your second day been so far?'

"Well," I started. But before I could get out another word, my mind at that very moment, decided to play wicked little games with me.

Standing across the street, staring directly at me, was Damon.

Surely, this was mere coincidence. But the way he looked at me …more accurately, looked through me, was positively unsettling.

" _Hello?_ ," Caroline's voice sang on the other end of the line.

I moved closer to the inside of the sidewalk, out of the way of other rushing pedestrians, "Sorry. I… that guy."

"What _guy_?"

"Damon."

"Who?"

"The guy, from the subway. I see him," as I turned back to look in the direction of where he was standing, was an empty space. He was nowhere to be seen-as if he had vanished into thin air.

"Never mind," I mumbled. "I'm on my way inside. I'll give you a call on my lunch break."

"Okay," I hung up with Caroline and tucked my phone snugly into my purse, hugging it close.

As I made my way to the elevators, my nerves started to unravel just slightly. I wanted to believe that it really was Damon that I saw. But the look on his face and in his eyes, it terrified me.

It was at this very moment, I came to a very disarming realization. At this very moment, all I could see was _him_. At this very moment, all I wanted from the very depths of my soul was for him, which I thought was on the other side of the street, to be with _me_. This terrified me far more than my self-imposed paranoia.

 **Author's Note: Sorry it took this one so long. I still needed to develop the story. This particular chapter changed a lot, but I'm glad it turned out the way that it did. I hope you've enjoyed it thus far. The next two chapters are done and I'm having them proofread.**


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